Are there calories in SHOES?

Just one of the crazy things I am thinking about.........


Not that I would eat my shoes or suggest anyone eat their shoes!
Never!  Shoes are meant to be strutted in.....

So....how did I come up with this rather absurd question?
Okay.....stay with me here.  
I promise, it will make sense in a few minutes.

Five 50-something girls go out for appetizers and drinks at a fun, trendy little spot.....
After we bitch and moan and analyze our jobs and our husbands and our sex lives and our kids and the laundry and the weather and the price of tea in China and flirt with the cutie bartender, the conversation always finds its way to weight and dieting.   Never fails.
This  diet and weight conversation usually happens after all of  the appetizers have been inhaled  and we are ordering our third drink.
"So, does everything we eat have calories in it?"   my  inquisitive diet-obsessed friend asked.
"I don't think lettuce has any calories...."   another diet-obsessed friend answered. 
"You can't live on just lettuce...."  my not-so-diet obsessed friend chimed in.
"Oh, I could.....and I am pretty sure I have...."  diet-obsessed friend #1 shared.
Diet obsessed friend #2 shook her head in agreement.
"Well, I don't count the calories in libations....so, they have no calories,"  the not-so-diet-obsessed friend mused as she took a dainty little sip of her pretty little Dragon Berry Cosmo....
"I am pretty sure there are calories in everything...."  I chimed in.
"So, you mean to tell me that if I eat my shoe and live only on eating shoes, I would be eating calories?   How many do you think?"  diet-obsessed friend #1 asked, pointing to her lovely  strappy bronze heels.  Trust me, I firmly believe that if we would have told her there was a shoe diet out there, she would have started eating those shoes right then and there......
Of course, we all laughed.....some of us seeing the absurdity of it all and others of us wondering what the answer to that question really is.    
Hey, we were on our third drink.....
(but, really, I would like to know.....)

 

I can't make this stuff up.