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Monday, August 22, 2011

Up to my knee caps......

in going-back-to-college stuff YEAR 3......
This year it's all about pink and green.
She's moving into a new place.
Not only have we had to collect scads of new bed clothes and rugs and even a dresser and cupboard, we've also had to get paint and all the paint supplies and curtains and rods and storage pieces and even an air conditioner.
Trust me, it's been no easy fete to get that all done in between everything else.
Thankfully, Walmart is open 24-7.

Yes, as I've been telling you...when I do have the time and energy to blog....I've had quite a bit of activity these past few weeks here in Judiland.
But, I'm here to report that after many tears, little-to-no sleep, a bit of crankiness and quite a bit of angst, I've decided to admit to myself that I really can't do it all.
Earthshattering, I know.
I have almost got myself to the point where I am okay with that little self admission.
Almost being the operative word here.
For me, accepting the fact that I am not superwoman is very difficult.
Almost impossible.
So, I find myself feeling guilty about everything.
Not. a. good. thing.
The funny thing is that when my world overwhelms me, I know that I am not doing anything particularly well. I'm letting things slide. No one has to tell me. I'm fully aware of it. But, being the optimist that I am, I am positive that things will turn around momentarily. And, when they don't turn around momentarily, I convince myself that it will happen shortly. And, when it doesn't happen shortly, I lead myself to believe that it won't take long.
It's only when I start to feel like I have a noose around my neck, my head is in a vice grip and I'm living on caffeine and the thrill of new lip gloss, I realize that something has gotta give. As things start eeking out of control and the clock is ticking away, my guilt rolls in and I want to run and hide. Pull the covers over my head and just stay there until everything and everyone stops wanting a piece of me....
Always sounds like a perfect plan.
Until something like the toilet decides to over flow.....all over the bathroom.
And, I lose it. Crying like a little baby. Right there in the newly scrubbed with a plunger in one hand and throwing towels all over the floor with the other hand while my cute little red shoes are sopping wet. My mascara is running down my face, my hair is plastered to my head with sweat and did I mention my cute little red shoes are sopping wet?
Yeah, well, that ain't no way to live....

Yes, it's been a maddening few weeks.
A maddening, running on empty, merry-go-round, race-to-the finish few weeks.
All of it has resulted in some unusual happenings......
*I left my credit card at a restaurant.
*I paid the water bill late. Completely forgot about it.
*I broke one of my favorite serving bowls.
*I broke three perfectly lovely wine glasses.
*I lost my best kitchen knife.
*I lost my cell phone....also left at a restaurant.
*I misplaced an entire bag of groceries....I think I left it in the cart in the parking lot.
*I killed a few pots of flowers. I forgot to water them. name a few.

What I'm pretty sure about is that all of that happened because my mind was spinning....I was never in the moment.

Then, the toilet overflowed.
That's what brought me to my final act of madness.
I decided the laundry would have to wait, the kitchen floor would have to stay dirty, the living room didn't need to be cleaned, the garbage could stay in the pail a little longer, the tupperware shelf didn't need organized and I was not going to scrub that damn bathroom right then.....I decided it was time to go downstairs and finally complete Toni's lamp re-do project that's been sitting on my table for two solid weeks.
I knew I needed to accomplish something....anything.
So, I chose the lamp.
My girl is leaving for college in a few short days.
She needed her Judi-blinged-out lamp.....

It went from this.......

To this....

Amazing how a bunch of ribbon,a pile of pom poms and a hot glue gun can help a girl feel so much better!


Kathy said...

I feel your pain Judi. Love the lamp........hang in there, things will get better.

Jody V said...

Oh Judi....I feel the same way! I am so overwhelmed and overloaded that I am doing nothing instead of even trying! I guess our only response is...."Onward"!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear how stressed and busy you are. Try to breath, okay??
New Follower.

Debbie said...

I have some Montevino for you... surely that will help.