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Tuesday, May 17, 2011


No. No. No.
Don't worry friends!
No lectures needed!
I didn't smoke it off.

I ate it off.

Yes, that's right.

Let me repeat that for those of you who didn't get it the first time.....
How did I lose weight?

Trust me friends, I am not selling anything here and I am not jockeying to be the poster child for no-diet weight loss.
I have no fantasies of seeing my image on the back cover of The National Enquirer with before and after pictures of me in a polka-dot bikini.

We all know that I lost 100+ pounds with the help of my Lapband.
Old news. Old, old news.
What we also know is that for the past few months, my scale has been registering a bit of a weight gain---8-10 pounds---depending on the day.
It floated me over the 140 number that I picked as my RED ALERT weight.
My pants got a bit snug. I could feel my belly popping out.
I won't lie--I hated the fact that there were some clothes that didn't feel good.
I had a little bulge here. A little ripple there. Some pants I didn't even bother to put on.
I could feel that weight morning, noon and night.
Indeed, it was frustrating.
No--let's get real here-- it was maddening and sad and disgusting and just downright pissing me off.
Mostly because for the past 3 years and 9 months, my Lapband I were in sync.
There was no dieting, no crazy pills or over the top exercising.
I was eating food. I was stopping when I was full. I was making good choices. I was getting a reasonable amount of exercise.
Well, most of the time.
Sure, I indulged here and there and slacked every so often.
This is real life, after all.
But, in the end, I was doing it right.

Then....boom.....out of nowhere (or so I thought)......the scale declared a weight gain.
I had a bit of an inkling that it was happening even before the scale confirmed it.
My jeans whispered it to I tugged on the button and zipper.

The biggest kicker to all of this was that I thought I did not know how to lose weight without going on some kind of diet.
So, I was perplexed and mystified as to how I was going to get rid of those unwanted pounds without joining Weight Watchers or giving my hard earned money to Jenny Craig or subscribing to one of those new fangled diets or worse yet--without buying me some diet pills.
Trust me....I had fleeting moments when I actually considered those options.
There was one moment at CVS Pharmacy when I caught myself in the weight loss aid aisle.

But, I didn't.
I gave into my Lapband.
I let it to it's job.
The job it's been doing for 3 years and 9 months.
Once I got past the panic and the conundrum of it all.....I realized that I was working against my Lapband.
I was spending more time figuring out what I could get past my Lapband instead of just eating regular food and stopping when my Lapband told me to stop.
I wasn't allowing my Lapband to do it's job......stopping me from eating too much.
And, I wasn't doing my job.
Because let me tell you....I am no dumshit girl.
I know how to get out of doing my job.
I know buckets of loaded mashed potatoes and piles of chocolate and big bowls chips and vats of ice cream will ease right past my Lapband without causing any problem at all.
I had to go back to doing my job and letting my Lapband do it's job.
It was as simple as that.
No starvation. No extra cash. No pills. No extra miles to walk.
Thank you Lapband.

But, I do have one secret to share with you that helped me lose my weight gain.
A secret that has nothing to do with a Lapband.
Here it is....listen closely.
Pick a number on the scale.
Any number. Not too high. Not too low.
A number you can live with.
When the number on the scale surpasses the number you chose.....start doing your job.

Now I think I'll have that smoke....


Jody V said...

Good for you Judi! I'm going to try and take your post and get my mojo back.

As you always tell us....Onward!

Lee Ann said...

Judi, you are so funny. I love reading your posts.