Lessons from July......

As I sit here on the last day of July, I am a bit out of sorts.
And, I know exactly why........ 

There's actually a few things that are contributing to how I am feeling today.....
FIRST of all--
I am suffering a major hangover. 
It's not from what you might think.
Although a few too many cocktails or glasses of wine can leave me feeling a bit woozy the day after--rebounding from it only takes about 24 hours (in my experience, at least!).
Rebounding from the kind of hangover I have takes a tad bit more.....
Getting back on the wagon of regular exercise, eating the right foods and staying hydrated with water takes more than just 24 hours.  
Especially if you haven't been doing it for an entire month (or, possibly more...).
Although part of how I am feeling has something to do with the extra bulge about my belly that I see in the mirror and that stops me from wearing certain things....there's more to it than that.
Eating shitfully and not caring about exercising and sitting around instead of getting up and moving and  not being conscientious about my choices is leaving me with an overall feeling of blah.  
In other words---I am not as happy as I deserve to be.  

REALLLLLLLY??????

Not caring for myself as I should is crueler and more damaging to how I feel than after a night of throwing back shots of tequila.
 Not that I would know anything about that....
What I DO know about is that our minds and our emotions are affected dramatically by how we treat our bodies. The food we eat plays a major role in feeding not only our bodies but also what makes us tick....or not tick. We eat to live.  It's the way we nourish ourselves.  Nourishing myself with sugar and excessively fatty foods is not very smart.
 Regular exercise not only helps us to tone our muscles and fight fat deposits but it also helps us to stay energized.  By sitting back and doing nothing only makes me more unwilling to get up do what I need to do to keep the fat at bay and to be energized enough to enjoy my days! 
Supplying ourselves with enough water keeps us alert by flushing the toxins that linger in our bodies. By reaching for anything but water when I am thirsty is putting more toxins into my body and not flushing it out.  Thus my bloated feelings and those major rushes and falls from more sugar or caffeine than I really need.... 
The fact that I know this makes it all more derailing. 
You see...when I was obese and I found myself in this place, I would feel so defeated and miserable and ashamed that I would ignore the fact that I knew what was doing it to me.  I was so tied up with the feelings of being hopelessly fat.  My guilt and my shame would cripple me from seeing what was really happening.....
Now that I know better.   I need to DO BETTER.   

 SECOND of all.....
Now that I am face-to-face with August....the month that I will celebrate my 7th Anniversary of Me and My Lapband.....and I am up against my 7 year Lap band appointment on MONDAY.....the reality of everything is waking me up.
I'm taking notice of the fact that I am feeling the way I used to feel all those years ago when I was this close to a doctor's appointment when I would have to get on the scale. 
Crazy thoughts like this are creeping back in....*I  NEED TO LOSE 10 POUNDS IN THREE DAYS*

The scale haunted me everyday when I was this girl......

 
THIRD of all......
We are going to the beach.   Yes, we are.  And, you know what that means?

I DO NOT WANT TO BE THIS GIRL FROM 2007 AT THE BEACH

And, FINALLY.....
 I worked too damn hard and spent too much time and energy and money to get to the Judi I am today.
My Lapband is the gift that I gave myself to help me get to where I am.
I've been a very disrespectful girl in July.........I was taught better than that. 

GOOD BYE JULY.......

many apologies for my behavior!

Love, Judi