Good-bye June!

June wrap-up:
It's been a good month.
I'm back to fighting weight.
I continue to be thankful for the gift of this Lapband.
And, I bought a size 6 dress.
Now you know why it's been a good month.

As we parade into July.....
I'm taking a little time-out here on Stories from the Road.
I know, I know....I've been taking lots of hiatuses.
Please hear me out......
The house is filling up again, we've got a wedding and all it's hoopla, we've got parties and dinners and celebrations galore.
So, there's lots of prepping and cooking and primping and fussing and dressing up to do.
Plus....did I mention I'd be cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning and entertaining and then cooking and cleaning and entertaining again?
That's why I won't be blogging!

I'll show you pictures of all of the festivities from Judiland as soon as I get back.
And, I promise there will be a picture of me in my size 6 dress.
Oh and I just can't wait to show you my shoes....

Until then.......
Please firework responsibly.....

May you and yours enjoy a wonderful and fun-filled
Fourth of July Weekend!

DECLARE YOUR INDEPENDENCE FROM FRENCH FRIES!!!

Am I crazy or what?

Posting those gawdawful pictures of myself yesterday!

Yes, there's got to be a morning after.
Today is that morning.
I'm looking at those pictures that I posted on my blog yesterday and I'm seriously wondering if I did that in my sleep.
What the hell was I thinking?
Who--in their right mind--would actually put some of those pictures out on the internet for all of the world to see?
Evidently me.

Now that they are all out there.....
I'm not sure how go forward from here.....after my moment of full disclosure.
Thank God there were no nude pix!!!
Was I extraordinarily brave yesterday or what?
Or....was it that I just didn't give a rat's ass?
Oh my!

In as much as my intent yesterday morning was more in an upbeat reflective mode, today I am overcome by many emotions starring at those pictures.
I'm almost stumped as to what to say next.
Where can I go on this blog without writing a little bit more about those pictures?
Part of me wants to apologize to you for the assault on your eyes, another part of me wants to delete the whole thing and just pretend that post never happened yet another part of me wants to get all high and mighty and full of myself and say---"Looky here, friends.....if I can go from that girl to this girl....there's hope for everyone!"
I can't believe the woman in those pictures was me.
Because really....I gotta tell you something here.....I am one of those people who care deeply about how I look.
I always have been. This is nothing new.
I always, always plan every detail of my outfits, I pose and primp in front of mirrors, I always wear make up and I never, ever leave the house looking like total shit.
It's like a religion with me.
Take my pen and my paper but never, ever take my eyeliner and my lip gloss.
Call me vain, call me materialistic and full of myself but I never thought you could call me unfashionably unattractive.
But, today, I'm rethinking that whole vision I had of myself during my dark years (from the age of 41-48 when my weight spiraled completely out of control).
Looking at those pictures has me wondering if all those diet drugs I took and all those diets I was on and all those non fat foods I ate somehow messed with my head.
Because that girl in those pictures was not the girl who lived in my head.
The girl I am today is the girl who lived in my head.
It took awhile but I have finally arrived, I've met her and I've lived with her and I've seen pictures of her.....and I like her.
Which puts me in a good place.....today.
I'm not sure what possessed me to find every lousy picture taken of me over a period of 7 years and post them on my blog.
But, I'm not going to delete them.
I'm going to own them....cringing just a little....
Because I am going to put myself in the shoes of that girl in those gawdawful pictures and embrace the fact that it's all part of the journey.

My Stories from the Road.
Real and unedited.

Life is a party.........

in Judiland.

Always has been and I hope..... always will be.

Did I mention that I got a new camera?
Yep, with all the events coming up in the next few months, it was time to upgrade.
So, one night last week, my favorite shopping partner and I headed to Best Buy.
I must have looked like I was ready to buy when I high tailed it over to the camera section.
A cute little sales associate approached me lickety split.
He must have seen dollar signs in my eyes.
"I want a new camera!" I told him excitedly.
He gently guided me over to their selection of cameras and proceeded to give me a rundown on each one.
He carefully explained pixels and zooms and lenses and controls and all the fancy smancy camera stuff.
The kid knew his cameras.
After all of that.....I asked...."Do you have any red ones?"
I guess I should have told him that all I wanted was a cute little red camera.
I could have saved him all of that talk, talk, talk.
As it turned out, they only had one cute little red camera.
So, I bought it.

The funny thing about getting a new camera these days is that you have to also sync it up with your computer so that you can download your pictures.
And, the funny thing about doing that is that you find yourself lost in old picture libraries.
Old pictures.
As in pictures 100+ pounds ago.
The only good thing I can say about those pictures is that I sure did a lot of partying....up and down the sizes.
I might not like what I looked like in these pictures but damn, I sure do like the memories they stir up.
(btw....these pictures are in no particular order.....that's a project for another time!)




























Still partying.......after all these years.
Only this time.....I like the pictures.
And I'm liking the memories........
So, I shall party on......

That was so last week........

Um....to be more precise.....that was soooo last 2 weeks......

I foofed and fussed to get the house ready to welcome guests and visitors and parties and all that summer-inspired fun stuff......




Carmen commanded the grill, sometimes he visited me in the kitchen....
While I spent many, many hours here.....in my kitchen....whipping up all kinds of yummy guest worthy concoctions. I made lots of big messes. I cleaned and scrubbed a lot too.


I attended a work retreat where we worked and ate and worked and ate some more....





I got all dolled up to go to one of Carmen's business events....(don't you love, love, love those shoes?....to die for!!!)


Carmen and I had a fun date night with some really fun friends......





And, now I'm kicking off another jam packed week.......stay tuned to find out if I make it!

It's me, not you........

All is well in Judiland---as far as I know.
I've just been way too consumed with work and obligations and commitments to really know for sure.
It's been go-go-go, do-do-do, more-more-more 24/7.
Summer.....a time to sit back and enjoy the downtime.
Not here. Not now.

It's been utter madness, really.
Everyone and everything is on hyperactive in my world.
It's as if there was this secret meeting of everyone and everything in my life and they said it was time to test the limits of my mind, body and soul.
Madness. Yes.
So, please forgive me for my non blogging status.
It's not you. It's me.
I've been trying to sneak in a few extra minutes of sleep each morning.....because I've desperately needed it.
What that's meant is that I haven't been able to sit in my little office off of the kitchen and talk with you.
And, I haven't been able to keep up on reading blogs either.
I've missed it. I really have.
Although I can't promise the madness will stop, I will promise that I will try to be a better blogger.
Deal?

Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to tell you that I've been on a bit of a dress buying spree.
How wild is that?
Yes, life is on hyperactive in more ways than one around here!
I've bought more dresses in the past month than I bought in the past 20 years combined.
All of a sudden---I've been buying up dresses galore!
A fat girl never buys dresses. She buys jackets. Jackets galore!
My jacket buying madness is over.
Hello dresses.

Good Morning Summer........

Somehow, I just knew you had arrived.
Why?
Because, I woke up thinking about 2 things......

An ice cream sundae.....

And, RED Bernie Mevs.....
Two summer loves in Judiland.

And the BIG MAN joined the band.......

Rock In Peace, Clarence Clemmons

Your sax....the background music of my life, the soul of a generation.
A sound that will play on.
Unforgettable.
And forever.


Just listen......


The change was made uptown.....

Crash landing.....back to lower altitude!

Yes, we are home.
Without a moment to spare....

We had the chance to breathe in some mountain air and leave the demands of everyday life.....if even for just a short period of time.
We had a few glasses of wine, a couple of girly libations, a little girl talk, some good food and a touch of spa enjoyment.
All the little things you need to carry on....
(sorry.....no pictures....what happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain....)


It's time to get back to the rigors of life here in the bustling suburbs.
But, before I do that....I've gotta sweep away the dust and the dirt, shine up the good crystal and china and polish all the silver.
Company is coming.
The menus are planned, some of the cooking is done and the bar is stocked.
Now I just have to figure out all the rest.
Never a dull moment or idle hands here in Judiland.
I guess that's what makes Judiland mine.

So, blog friends, if you don't see me here chatting away, have no fear.
I will be back......as soon as our company flees our humble home.

I'm going......thatta way.....

We're headed to the mountains.
Amongst the trees.
And the babbling brooks.

Yes, I'm going to commune with nature.....

or something like that......

I'm going on a GIRLS ROAD TRIP......my favorite shopping partner and I are heading to the mountains with a few favorite girls to do what girls do when they go to the mountains.

We'll chat when I get back from my romp with nature!

YOU HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN!

Don't let food control you!!!
Put food in it's proper place.
Tell food who is boss.
You are the higher being.
Stop treating food like it has a brain.
Food cannot mend a broken heart, a broken dream or a broken spirit.
It cannot cure what ails you and it won't stop your pain.
Food cannot slow down time or make time go faster.
The only thing food can do is sit there.
YOU MUST DO THE REST.


Tuesday's food for thought......

Cramming it all in......

not a good plan for a MONDAY!


If I didn't have to sleep, I'd be fine.
If I didn't have to work, I'd be fine.
Ironically, sleeping and working are the two things that I need to do in order to do everything I need to do.
Did ya get that?

So, instead of bitching and moaning, I'm going to be thankful for my bed and my job.
You will just have to forgive me if I bitch and moan about everything else......

Happy Monday and have a good night!

This is the day the Lord has made.

Please hear my prayers......


Oh, Saint Therese of Lisieux, Patron Saint of flower growers, I pray to you. Please give me the wisdom to dig the holes deep enough. Please give me the strength to haul the dirt and the mulch. Please protect my manicure from the perils of dirt digging. And, please let it rain immediately after I've planted my final flower.
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Oh, Saint Martha, Patron Saint of Housekeeping, I pray to you. Please give me the help that I need to clean this damn house. Please don't allow me to scream or yell or play the martyr. And, if I kill someone before the house is clean, I beg for your mercy and assistance. Before I am unjustly arrested for the murders, please get in touch with my beloved patron saint, the saint of hopeless causes, St. Jude, as well as my extremely devout Catholic friend and extreme housecleaner extrodanaire, Patty. St. Jude will know exactly how to proceed (I've spoken to him many times about the possibility that housework may drive me to kill.) And, Patty will make sure my house is immaculate, that all of my contraband is disposed of, that the bodies are hidden and that I have an air tight alibi.
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Oh, Saint Hunna, Patron Saint of Laundry, I pray to you. Please stop this madness.
AMEN.

Dear Father Bonnar,
I will be at 9 am Mass. Please let me guzzle the wine when I come up for Communion. I promise I'll behave this week. I won't wear the same pair of shoes twice.
Peace be with you.


God Bless You All this Sunday.

(my parish, St. Bernard's Catholic Church)

Hello Saturday, it's me Judi.....

please give me my to-do list.
So I can rip it up.
Come on, hand it over.

.....in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone

My astrologer told me that I am in need of some fun.
It's time.

So, dear Saturday, you're just gonna have to figure out some way to hold me back.
Because this girl is gonna put on her fun red shoes, her ripped up jean capris, her jaunty straw fedora, her breezy tunic tank and those cute yellow shades and she is headed that-a way.
Don't you come-a lookin' for me either.
Excuse me now while I go put the f in fun and the satur in day.

Yes, friends, today, I'm feeling a wee bit Thunder Road-ish.


Happy Saturday all......
Please rock 'n roll responsibly.

I've got FOOD problems.......

You all know my father, right?
The 90 year old lepracauhn of a man with the cherubic face, the rosy red cheeks and the twinkling blue eyes?
You know---the man who is always trying to stay on a diet and thinks getting my Lapband was the best thing I ever did and wishes he could have one too?
Yeah, this guy.....he's the culprit. The cause of all of my food problems.
Two weekends ago, amid all of the crazy busyness of life in Judiland, I found myself enthralled by a bushel of red, green and yellow peppers while racing through the local farmers' market in search of thai basil plants for my herb garden. Those peppers were so beautiful, I had to have them. In my state of euphoria, I imagined all of the wonderful things I could make with them---stuffed peppers, pickled peppers, fried peppers, roasted peppers, pepper relish, chicken with peppers, hot sausage with peppers, omlets with feta cheese and peppers, red pepper marinara....well, you get the picture. Within moments, I had that bushel of peppers under my arm and I was heading out to my car, thrilled with my conquest. I was so overtaken by those peppers that I forgot completely about my thai basil quest. Who needed thai basil anyway....when you have a zillion pretty peppers?
Fast forward to last weekend.....there I was.....with a bushel of the most beautiful peppers in the world sitting on my counter. There was not a pickled pepper, a roasted pepper, a fried pepper or any other kind of prepared pepper anywhere in sight. Just a zillion pretty peppers....wilting right in front of me.
It was time to deal with those peppers.
So, deep into the night and the early morning hours, I stuffed them and I sauteed them and I fried them and I roasted them and I chopped them up and I julliened them and then I stuffed a few more, fried a few more, roasted a few more....well, you get the picture.
My fridge and my freezer were overrun by every imaginable pepper concoction I could think of.
The next day, I informed my father of my maniacal pepper cooking, promising that he would soon be the benefactor of my efforts. Knowing that he just loves, loves, loves stuffed peppers, I talked up the menu for the following few days. He was very excited about the prospect of having stuffed peppers for dinner on Tuesday. We talked about it for quite awhile. In fact, he reminded me several times throughout the weekend and then called me at work on Tuesday just to be sure he would have his stuffed peppers.
When dinner time came---I pulled out the stuffed peppers, heated them through, made a nice batch of rice with a side of green beans and lovingly placed then on a plate. It felt so good to be giving my father something he truly loved.
With a huge smile, I presented the plate to my father.....
"No, I don't want that," he said.
"No, it's the stuffed peppers," I told him, reminding him that we talked about it already.
He bounced his head back and forth, letting me know he wasn't all that interested.
"Really, dad, I made these for you! The stuffed peppers? Remember?" I went on, a bit flabbergasted. (I should mention right here that my father has all of his mental faculties and he never forgets about food!)
"Put that plate in the fridge. I will eat it some other time," he instructed me.
"What will you eat?" I asked him, knowing full well that he wasn't going to cook anything for himself and he is not a man to miss a meal.
"I want a monti cristo sandwich," he declared with great authority.
"A what?" I asked.
"A monti cristo sandwich," he said firmly.
"I don't make them." I told him, pushing the plate with the stuffed peppers, rice and green beans closer to him.
He grimaced, pushing the plate away.
"I want a monti cristo sandwich," he said, his voice raising slightly.
"Well, I don't know how to make them," I told him flatly.
"The Pancake House down the road does. Go get me one." he said pointing to the door.

Well, you know the rest of the story.
He got his monti cristo sandwich.
Then he ate the stuffed pepper with rice and the side of green beans
Then, I got into trouble for feeding him so much.

It's no wonder I have food problems.....

Going COMMANDO?

DON'T DO IT!

If you are trying to lose weight, put your panties back on sweethearts!
That's right friends--Caffeine Panties are the latest tool to help you slim down!

You know how much I love new weight loss products right?
They just make my heart go pitter patter and my toes curl right up.
I get woozy and excited all at the same time.
Add that feeling to wearing under panties that get ya going and we've got a full blown orgasmic event right here, right now.

I just can't imagine why I never thought of this!
I mean....I love caffeine, I adore panties and OMG---weight loss promises always steal my heart away.
I swear, one of these days I am definitely going to come up with something so incredibly amazing that the entire world will be bowing down to me in thanksgiving.....
Red stilettos infused with gin that soaks through your feet, takes the edge off a bad day, attracts billionaires, knocks off cellulite AND shrinks your bunions?
That's a start.
Let's build from there....

June........

just saying it makes you wanna go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh........




June has always been that month that screams SUMMER.
School was always out for the SUMMER in June.
You put away your school clothes and slipped on your SUMMER pinafores and pedal pushers and jean cut-offs in June.
The swimming pool was open all day long in June.
Kennywood Day was coming soon!
The merry music of the ice cream truck could be heard in June.
Nights filled with playing release and catching fire flies.
Sunburned noses and bright red shoulders with white bathing suit straps.
Giggling your way up big hills and crossing big streets with girlfriends.
Strawberry ice cones and plump red cherries.
Lemonade stands and neighborhood carnivals.
Laundry blowing in the breeze in every back yard.
Your mother sitting on the porch watching her roses bloom.
That was what June was all about.
In the town where I grew up.


Happy June everyone.
Say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and let the memories of your Junes fill your heart and mind!