I need a bail out or a presidential pardon. Come on, it's President's Day....
Did I ever mention that I'm not married to Mr. Romance? I had long suspected this to be the case. But, I spent years trying to convince myself I was wrong. Well, this weekend sealed the deal. He finally went and did it. He got me a sweeper. As a gift for a holiday dedicated to romance. Okay, okay, it was a red sweeper. Woo-hoo. And, that's not all. He didn't get me a card. Of course....if you ask him...he'd tell you that he tried. As we were sitting in his favorite restaurant--the one he says is the only Italian restaurant worth eating at (which happens to be right next to the Hallmark store)-- having a very late lunch on Saturday, he announced a sudden urge to get some air. "So, you didn't get me a card?" I asked, still stinging from the 50th birthday card episode (the one he left on the kitchen island on top of the bag that he bought it in--from Big Lots--with the receipt for $1.87 on top of it...for me to find when I strolled in at 4 am....). "No, I just need some air," he said...with a grin....knowing he was caught. "You didn't get me a card," I repeated--this time without the question mark. "I'm going to now," he said sheepishly. "No need," I said, looking for the waiter--I wanted another glass of wine. "Alright, but, don't bring this up next time you're mad at me...that I didn't get you a card," he warned me.."because I wanted to" he said. Yes, I needed another glass of wine.
You know, I'm not a high maintenance gal. I'm just your routine chick who needs a little grease every once in awhile. A card here, a little wooing there and maybe...just maybe...an extra dose of excitement there. Nothing lavish or pretentious. Just something to keep me going. I suppose that explains why I took to the chocolate. I needed a little tune up...
It's Monday and I'm wishing I never ate that chocolate. I can seriously feel it on my hips, my stomach and my thighs. So, I'm wondering....considering that I didn't run my husband over with the sweeper and suck out his organs with the hose...can we just forget about the chocolate episode? And the calories?
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5 comments:
Oh Judi - remember...you are dealing with a man. I hope you enjoyed your wine anyway!
Jody
Judi,
This will cheer you up not getting a card but a sweeper...I worked 14 1/2 hrs. on Valentine's day and when I got home found a sink full of dishes that my youngest son left for me because he made his girlfriend this romantic dinner since he had the house to himself. After their "festivities" they went back to Cal before I got home. I think I would have rather had a sweeper waiting for me. That was suppose to cheer you up. ;)
My husband was a Civil War nut. So one year for Valentines Day I bought him the movie "Birth of a Nation" It's a silent movie. I was so bored I talked through the whole thing. He was ready to kill me.
But hey, at least it was better than the iron I bought him one Christmas. He was so excited. Really.
As usual, you have me laughing out loud. My sweet Papa didn't have a romantic bone in his body, but I adored him. He would get that sheepish look then say, "I didn't get you a card". When he did manage to buy gifts (which wasn't often) they generally were in the sweeper category. Poor man just didn't know how to do those things. Still, he was a keeper in my book. I'd marry him again in a heartbeat. : )
He had his days. Boy did he ever.
Oh he's laughing at me now. I can hear him saying "so, I wasn't such an asshole after all, was I?"
Just one of those days when I felt a little sorry for myself. Go kiss your husband.
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