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Monday, March 3, 2008

Stop toying with me OLD MAN!

It was 67 degrees today. Sunny. Warm. Very Spring-like. Right here in Pittsburgh, PA. I'm not complaining. Especially since this past Friday night, my normal 45 minute- 1 hour commute home took over 2 hours (not counting 2 much needed bathroom breaks) because of a day long snow-rain-ice-sleet storm. Well, maybe I am complaining. And, yes, maybe I am a little annoyed. And upset. And feeling funky. But, I'm not good with teasers. Today was just a teaser. Sunshine and warm breezes. I know better. It can't and it won't stay this pleasant for long. Let's face's winter. OLD MAN WINTER.

I don't have to remind was only a few days ago that I sat right here at my computer and swore like a truck driver about the weather. Probably makes folks wonder if I'm ever happy. Well, before you accuse me of going hormonal...... hear me out. It's not Spring. I'm not ready for Spring. So, I want it to quit acting like it is Spring. It's Winter. I am still wearing boots and jackets and sweaters and scarves and gloves. My porch is still sporting it's winter decor. My garden is ugly and brown--it looks much better blanketed in snow. And, my Spring cleaning plans are many weeks away. And, most importantly---my body is not ready yet. Not ready to be THIS close to summer---you know, shorts and bathing suit season. No ready at all.

A day like today had the potential to put me into an orgasmic frenzy. As soon as I walked out the door this morning---I could feel a little tingling in my toes and a little flutter in my stomach. You would think I would know better. Right? Well, I'm just like any other sick-of-winter person. When there's a little hint of nice weather, I do get all excited. But, thankfully, I'm wise enough not to let it get the better of me. So, I calmed myself with a chai latte and reminded myself of the torment brought on by all those other beautiful Spring-like days that popped up in the middle of winter. They had me running in circles trying to loose all that weight I vowed to take off. They had me racing to find catalogs that carried skirted bathing suits and wandering aimlessly through malls chasing down an entire new wardrobe---since the one from the year before no longer fit. Call me cynical but I've been down this road before. A day like today has derailed me many times. Sent me into a get-ready-for-Spring frenzy---only to be let down within 24 hours. So, it's not really cynicalism. It's wisdom. It's the sheer fact that I'm old enough to know better. It can't last long. It won't last long. Anyway, I am not ready for Spring. No. No. No. My garden is not. My porch is not. My windows are not. My legs are not. My arms are not. Spring, Spring GO AWAY! Even in my more rational moments today---I realized that even if, by some miracle, I had everything ready for would all be for not. Why? Because it's Winter. Not Spring.

If days could be categorized like genders---these are MALE days. I'll spare you my deep reasoning on that. It doesn't take much to figure out why I've come to that conclusion. All I can say is..... zip up your pants Old Man Winter. Put away Mr. Spring-has-Sprung! It's on my terms now. It will be Spring when I say so. Take a cold shower. Or, snow or something.

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