Ode to Spring.....

I'm tilling the soil.....that's what you do when you're 50.

Good Morning Universe!

Who in the hell are you and how come you're so smart?
and, more importantly--
What do you know that I don't know?

Ask anyone who has known me for years and they will tell you---Judi does not like to be uninformed. I'm a pure scoopster...always have been...check out my nick name in my high school year book (on second thought....don't go within 100 feet of my high school yearbook). I'm an informationaholic and a girl who does not do very well if someone says to me "I have something to tell you, let's catch up later." No. No. No. Tell me now or you-are-risking-your-life. I do not like mysteries. I do not like innuendo. I do not like NOT being in-the-know. Do not bait me with guess-whos or guess-whats. Do not put unwrapped presents in a room with me...alone. Do not tell me you know a secret that you can't tell me. For all intents and purposes--here's the rule--unless you are willing to tell me the whole kit and kaboodle, don't string me along. Just be quiet. That's all I ask. Because it just kills me to know that there is something to know and I don't know it and I can't find out how to know it. Got that?

Here's the thing and come to think of it...you have all been witness to it---The Universe is talking to me through my blog. Not Mr. Universe or Ms. Universe--THE Universe. I mean, I know the Universe emails people. But, honestly....does the Universe also comment on people's blogs? I don't think so. So, who is this commenter who calls his/herself The Universe? And, how does his/her comments make so much sense to me...so much sense...as I read it? How does THE UNIVERSE know what is going on in my most private thoughts and feelings?
And, what else does The Universe know?


Who are you Universe?

Banding to Spring......

Even if the snow falls and the temperatures go below freezing, the calendar is saying....Spring. So, I guess it's time to think about shedding those winter layers, taking stock of what's beneath it all and awakening the sunshine in our souls.
In other words--is my body Spring ready?

So, here I am--two days before the official start of Spring and something pretty amazing is happening here.... my answer to that question is.......ta-da....YES!. I am not afraid of Spring.

Oh sure, I'd love to be 10 pounds thinner. But, here's the catch--I can be. And, it's only 10 pounds. How great is that? I mean, come on now--HOW SUPER-DUPER GREAT IS THAT?
Yeah, it's great.


Bring on the tulips.....

Top O'the Morning..........

May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
the foresight to know where you're going
and the insight to know when you're going too far.


When I came upon this passage in the wee hours of this St. Pat's Day morn, it brought a tear to these Irish eyes. Ah, yes, the wisdom of the Irish....from the little snippets shared by my rosey cheeked grandma in her lovely Irish lilt to the sage advice came from the hard learned lessons of my father to the verses that speak to me when I need spoken to. I shall think of them all today. And, in between all the greening of the day, I shall give them great ponder and pray for their guidance. All in the hopes of knowing if there really is a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.....
Sounds like the perfect way to celebrate St. Patty's Day.
That and my green shoes. But it doesn't feel much like a green hair kinda day....

God Bless you all on this St. Patrick's Day.....from glen to glen, and down the mountain side.

And, I'm off.......

to tackle yet another week....


This past weekend--by design--was not intended to be one of accomplishments. No, it was more intended to be one of family, friends, vodka and gin. And, that's just what it was. We were treated to a special blend of weather, spirit and celebration. We got to enjoy fun traditions, wonderful friends and those special folks we only see a few times a year. And, we also got to carve out some extra time to remember that we are a family--of 4. It was a wonderful respite from the hectic days, the over scheduled days, the cold days and the stressful days. So very nice!
Vince was here--home on a quick Spring break. So, we got to spend some rare family time--just the four of us--hanging out. It was wonderful. Carmen even took the day off from his hectic schedule on Friday, we allowed Toni to take a little unexpected Spring break day of her own and we all piled in the car for a quick jaunt. Many hours and laughs later--we all fell into our beds under one roof.

And, of course, you know what we did on Saturday....I hope to share some pix soon!

It was all quite lovely--from beginning to end. Well, except for my major headache yesterday and my incredibly sore legs. But, even with that, yesterday turned out quite sweet--with Toni and I doing a little shopping at some our favorite haunts, picking up our fav gourmet lollipops and signing up for a healthy cooking class together--on a whim! Then, we headed to meet up with Carmen and Vince for a laugh-filled farewell lunch at a quaint tucked away spot where they have the most amazing crab bisque in all the land.....followed by waving to Vince as he drove away from the rickety lot--this time knowing all was well with his life and his dissertation (clearly one in the same these days!). Then, we spent the rest of the afternoon languishing on the couch--first watching Vicky, Christina, Barcelona (watch it!) and then digging into a pile of magazines.
Yes, it was the kind of weekend that makes Monday one of choices--do I berate myself for not getting anything done or do I applaud myself for not getting anything done?


Only one more day til St. Pat's Day!

Got the Irish Flu!

Yes, I'm a wee bit green this morning....

Perhaps I need an Irish cure....a flu shot?









UGH.....my greening continues....

Sham-ROCKING......

...that's what today is all about.....



Big problems here in Judiland. Big problems of the best kind. My parade attire of yesteryears are no more. Goodbye my beautiful patchwork jean jacket, farewell my black jeans with glitter shamrocks, farewell my adorable white sweater with Ireland glitzed across my chest!

Ah....but, have no fear. I shall make the scene in green.....
...a little green!
(as in NOT BIG!)

No, no, I won't be going parading in my birthday suit with green shamrocks painted on my private parts. It's way to cold for that! Sure, I won't be as sparkling as I did in my former life. But, I won't be the overdressed fat woman either. I'll do my ancestors proud...fashion wise.
As always--I'll have my green hair! And, of course, I have new green shoes (btw...NOT the shoes I posted about a week or so ago..I ended up with another pair...which are more Judistyle). And, for sure--I'll rock it all out with some inspired accessories.


Hopefully, I'll remember my camera so I can take a few pix for my blog of some of my spirited parade day partners, my shamrockin' blogger friends and some of my once-a-year best buddies!

It's time to go green myself up for the day....which starts in about an hour...
Here we go!
The Saloon....for Kegs & Eggs (I don't do the kegs....just the eggs)
then it's on to
Pittsburgh's St. Patrick's Day Parade....for a little parade watchin'
then it's on to
River City Inn..... for Michael Gallagher and where they're waiting for my smiling Irish eyes
then it's on to
Smithfield Street Cafe.....for Guaranteed Irish
then it's back to
The Saloon.....for a night cap with those family and friends who prefer to stay in the suburbs!

Yes...it's St. Pat's Parade Day once more.

Hope to see there

What would St. Patrick do?

It's Friday the 13th, the economy is doing a number on us, winter has worn out it's welcome,the world feels like it's in turmoil and April 15 is looming. Things just ain't looking so great.




Irish legend and lore credit St. Patrick for driving the snakes out of Ireland. But, just like many things Irish--a culture rich with oral myth--there were no snakes in Patrick's history. As a matter of fact--many tales associated with Patrick himself are just that--tales. Many folks---mostly Italians--claim Patrick as their own. Leave it to the Italians! Yet, Patrick has no roots in Italy. He was in fact born in Wales (Britian).
According to Patrick's own writings, his very first association with the Irish is when he was taken prisoner, at the age of 16, by a group of Irish raiders who attacked his family estate. It was then that he was transported to Ireland and held in captivity, as a slave, for six years--until his escape. During the time of his lonely and fearful imprisonment and his subsequent living on the lam, Patrick found himself driven to spirituality through voices that he heard--which he believed to be those of God or sent to him by God. These voices came to him in dreams--first telling him to flee Ireland (which is when he escaped). Soon after, an angel came to him--telling him to return to Ireland to spread the word of God. Following the second revelation, Patrick began religious training, a course of study that lasted more than fifteen years.
After Patrick's ordination as a priest, he was sent to Ireland with a dual mission-to minister to Christians already living in Ireland and to begin to convert the Irish. Perhaps this is what the Irish are referring to when they say he drove the snakes out. For anyone with Irish ancestors or relatives--they probably understand how religious conversion and snake driving became one in the same....
Familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs. This resonated with the Irish---a stubborn lot--because he was not force feeding them a new way of life or a new way to worship. Because of his wisdom and understanding, he and his teachings were widely accepted and heralded. In fact, he is credited with building over 300 churches (with accompanying schools) across Ireland for people to worship and study for religious lives. Thus, spreading the Catholic faith throughout Ireland in an effective and efficient manner.

It's no wonder this man was chosen as Ireland's patron saint. Patrick changed an entire country, changed the course of it's history and forever impacted it's way of life. Yet, he had no technology, no finances, few helpers and no roads to travel on. Incredibly, this one man was able to accomplish so much with so little. His spirit and his beliefs--not his riches or his charm--bankrolled it all.
And, so I ask again.....what would SP do?

I'd like to teach the world to.......

I don't know about you but I am getting pretty sick and tired of these non-smilers. Listen, I'm not expecting everyone to walk around with big shit eating grin on their faces. But, honestly--if I smile at you--can you smile back? I am not even asking for a nod or a sound out of your pouty mouth. I am just saying....if I see you for the first time in the day and I smile at you (mostly because I've learned not to greet you with a sound), could you please just do you and me a favor and smile back? Because here's the thing--one of these days I'm going to wrestle you to the ground and grab your face and get my thumbs and pull your lips so tight into a smile that you will probably have to haul me into court on assault charges!

What I'm saying is that I just think people should smile. It really improves the attractiveness quotient.
I'm just sayin'

A lover's quandry......

'tis mine....


This blog post is going to hit a nerve with several folks. I just know it. And, I'm ready for the back lash. In fact, it's probably just what I need. THAT, a good kick in the ass and some advice....

I've got a problem. A big one. And, it's getting bigger everyday. It's my husband. Yep, good old Carmen. The guy I've been hanging out with forever. The guy I plan on hanging out with forever more.
What's the problem?
Does he have a girlfriend? Did he get a nose ring? Is he wearing his skivvies on the front porch? No. No. And no. He doesn't have the time or energy for a girlfriend. He doesn't like needles. And, Toni and I won't allow him outside in his skivvies.
So, why am I bitching about him?
Here's the thing--the man just won't take care of himself. To be more specific--he is literally driving himself into the ground. Figuratively and possibly literally. He works an insane amount of time. And, when he isn't at work--he's on the phone about work. And, when he's not at work or on the phone about work, he's thinking about work. But, that's not really the problem I'm trying to solve. After years of living with his intensity and his life-robbing career, I have learned...the hard way. I'm powerless in that regard. It's a fact of our life.
The problem I'm trying to figure out is this--he eats like a mad man. There's no other way to put it. What does he eat? You name it, he eats it. But, his personal favorites are: cured meats--mainly pepperoni and supresseta, any kind of cheese, popcorn, cookies, chips, pretzels, nuts,....oh, let's face it--anything he can get his hands on that is portable and easy to pop in his mouth as he works, sits on the computer, listens to conference calls, watches sports, reads the newspaper and drives. It's that simple--his life consists of eating junk and doing lots of sitting. And, he knows it. Which, unfortunately, causes him additional stress--which he doesn't need.
What's more is that his blood pressure has gotten out of control--meaning--they have not been able to control it with meds. Fortunately, his cholesterol responds to meds. For now. In addition--he has gained a significant amount of weight, he's exhausted most of the time and his sleeping is fitful due to extreme reflux and his beeper going off at all hours. His doctor wants to see more of him. But, he can't find the time...with his work and travel....no matter how many appointments I set up for him!

So, what do I do about all of this? I yell. I scream. I reason. I tell scarey stories. I make suggestions. I make appointments. I cook. I buy good food. I clean out cupboards. I throw away unhealthy food. I spy. I lecture. I give the silent treatment. I gave him a gym membership. I ask him out for walks. I scream some more.
Bottom line--none of it is working.

Now, I know most of this is because of the work-life balance issues of his career. But, like I said, I've given up trying to do anything about that--other than not to tell him when his beeper is going off in the middle of the night (only if he is so dead to the world that he doesn't hear it)! That's my way of helping him with his work-life balance issues...

But, this food-health thing with him is wearing me down. And, because I have worked so hard on my own weight and health issues, it's making me absolutely crazy. But, this not about me. I'm trying to keep that thought in focus! I am well aware of the fact that I have changed my lifestyle significantly. And, I am very sensitive to the fact that hearing me preach about how he can change his lifestyle (look at me...I did it!!) may not feel so great for him. And, to be honest--with the very small amount of time we do get to spend together--do I want to harp on him about what he is eating, what it is doing to his health and the fact that he is overweight? Yeah, well....

I think the most interesting part of all of this is that this is not really a new problem. It's been going on for years--at varying degrees of intensity. But, what has changed is me. In the past, both of us would partake in poor eating habits--together. Then, one day, one of us would look at the other and say "we gotta stop". And, we'd embark on a healthier lifestyle--together. He would always fall right into his favorite diet plan--Atkins--and incorporate some type of exercise. I would do all the shopping, meal planning and cooking and before you knew it--he would lose 25 pounds and I would yo-yo. He'd stick it out. I would give it up. But, it was our mutual desire to get out of our unhealthy eating and to lose some weight that got him started---revved him up so to speak. After that, he was off and running.

Maybe....just maybe...in some twisted way, my Lapband is part of his problem. He lost his off-and-on diet buddy and his feast and famine partner. And, just like a man--he doesn't know what to do without her.

And, so, it makes me wonder--is my Lapband killing my husband? I'm not sure what to make of that thought.

I'm dancing....yeah......

It's been a wild and crazy, hip-hopping, jive moving, rock and rolling, disco jamming dance-a-thon here in Judiland. It's Dance Fever gone Saturday Night Live....

I've been dancing around a number on the scale.....and it ain't too pretty....

My dancing partner has a firm grip on me!
Who's my dancing partner? you ask.
Do you really want to know?
Alright.
I'll tell you.
FOOD.
Spicy and sweet.
Smooth and sultry.
We're doing the SALSA, the GIRL SCOUT COOKIE, the POPCORN, the MASHED POTATO, the CHIPS, the CANDY, the MINDLESS MUNCHING....
Oh, yeah. We're doing it all. Late at night. In the living room. In the kitchen. Hiding in the back room. We got all the moves.


Yeah, yeah. I know...I'm playing with words here to make it all seem better and to give my plight some cha-cha (I know, I'm hopeless). But, I honestly feel like I'm just dancing around everything...literally and figuratively. I'm this close to being within 10 pounds of my goal. And, I keep doing the slide.....
I'm so close to doing what I set out to do! But, I keep doing the chicken....


It's time to drop my partners and dance to beat of the THE BAND......

Another one joins the club.....

Happy 50th Birthday Barbie!

Here we are once again, Babs! You and me. We're no longer hanging out in my bedroom or living room or on my front porch or up at Debbie Dean's. We're not setting up our house, living in fantasy land, marrying Beatles or planning our next outfit. We're not going on wild adventures in my basement or coveting other Barbie's wardrobes.

We're now two 50 year old gals trying to figure out life while wearing great shoes and perfect ensembles. We've had careers and dream houses and boyfriends and pink convertibles and we've lived through all kinds of amazing scenarios. And, believe me, it all was grand. But, now we're here.....at 50.

I don't remember the last time you and I hung out but I'm thinking we're due for another round. For old times sake. I mean--it's good to get together with people who know what you're going through! This turning 50 thing is best done among friends. You start taking stock, you try to figure it all out and you stand in front of the mirror and wonder--do I really look like I'm 50? You really do need someone to look you straight in the eyes and tell you just how wonderful and beautiful you are!

Sure, I've had my share of weight issues and bad hair days and mascara gone bad moments. But---you---well...let's face it, you've always been on the front line when it comes to your looks. I honestly don't know how you've managed to stay so positive through it all. Especially the 70's!

Those people who said your boobs were too big, your waist too small and your legs too skinny. Jealous bitches. Those folks who blamed you for somehow undermining the woman's movement. Angry bitches. And, those psychos who pointed at you as ruining little girls' self esteem. Idiotic bitches.

Barb, you were the girl. You taught me more about life than almost anyone I know. You helped me exercise and hone my many creative talents from home decorating to acting to fashion to story weaving. You let me act out my dreams and live in a pretty world without leaving the block I lived on. You helped me shut out the perils of growing up and allowed me to be grown up in a fancy, lovely and anything-is-possible world. You gave me a voice, a set of boobs and an entire wardrobe of amazing clothes. You gave me a girlhood. And some of the best fantasy shoes I'll ever own. No wonder I love you, Barbie. I'm honored to share 50 with you.....
Onward!!

What's a girl to do?

I'm pretty sure there's more to life than this. Oh, I'm not complaining. I'm just thinking. It's all part of this being 50 thing. Here's the deal...I need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Because you see...the past 50 years were really not figured out by me. So, by all intents and purposes, I'm in my infancy of life. I've got some growing up to do! Up until now, it was all either the way it goes, happenstance or dumb luck. There was no real design or decision put into all the things I've done thus far. Oh yeah, sure...I may have said "yes" a few times, signed on a few dotted lines and nodded in agreement a lot. But, for the most part, it just all happened. I went along for the ride. I followed the signs. I did the next thing. The story of my life....from 1 to 50.

I know I'm not alone in this. Most people don't have scripts or predetermined life plans. Or, do you? Maybe I'm the one who just never got the memo. Maybe I'm the only one who got to this point in life by riding the wave, flying by the seat of my pants, just taking the next road and banking on serendipity or good karma or good star alignment. Perhaps everyone else did it all by design and I'm just now figuring out that design may have been the way to go. All those years of que sera, sera-ing might not have been the smartest thing. Maybe I should have sat down and made that plan when I was 5, when I was 10, when I was 15, when I was 20, when I was 25...well you get it.. Maybe I should have. But, I think I was way too busy....dreaming.
Perhaps I should do it all again.....

If we have to lose an hour.....make sure it's NOT Happy Hour!

...don't forget to change your clocks!

And, be sure to use what time you have wisely!


Cheers!!!!!

When the going gets tough, what happens?

the answer separates the elite from the bumpkins, the classy from the trashy....



There's no denying things are not perfect. In fact, they are downright lousy. The economy is tanking, people are suffering and the government is reacting in ways that may or may not save us all. Some days feel like a crap shoot at best. But, here's the thing--these are the moments that test us. These are the times that separate the men from the boys...so to speak. Or, like I said....the elite from the bumpkins, the classy from the trashy. These are the days when we show what we are made of. Who we are. What we have in us. And, where our hearts are. No, I'm not talking about big things. I'm talking about the little things. The little things that really are big things.....when times are tough.

Alright, alright...I'll stop talking in circles here. Here's some back stories to what I'm talking about...

Situation #1--
The other morning I needed a Starbuck's Chai Latte with an energy shot badly. By the time I realized this, I was not headed towards my usual on-the-way-to work Starbuck's. But, I was near another Starbuck's...the one that I typically visit on weekends. It's in an upscale shopping area--The Galleria. Since my need was so intense, I had no choice but to go to that particular one. It was in the opposite direction of where I needed to go. So, essentially, I was back tracking. But, you know how I am with those Chai Lattes with energy shots....when I need one, I need one. Period, that's it.
When I arrived, I pulled into the smallish lot--in between a big SUV and a little Mercedes. Although, at the time, I didn't know what type of cars they were. As I was fidgetting with my purse, the large SUV to the one side of me pulled out. So, I waited until it got out of the space before I got out of my car. That's when I noticed my back seat was strewn with trash. So, I decided to gather the trash into a bag that I had in the trunk. As I was opening the back to retrieve the bag, I heard a voice of a woman behind me but I wasn't quite sure what she was saying. So, I turned around to find a woman--slightly older than I--in a designer "jogging suit", complete make up, a huge expensive purse, lots of jewelry and not a hair out of place. A bit overdone if you ask me. "I'm sorry, were you asking me something?" I asked her. "This just figures! It's the way my life has been going! With all the God damn room you had, why in the hell did you park so close to me?" she screeched. I looked over and noticed that I really wasn't all those close to her car. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked again. "Why in the hell did you park so close to my car? Can't you see what kind of car it is?" she screeched again. I looked over at it. It was black. It was shiny. Other than that, that's all I could tell. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice. I pulled in here....in between an SUV that just pulled out and your car," I explained to her. "Well, evidently you don't care! I can't even get into my car!" she wailed. I looked over at the space...again I really didn't see the problem. I looked back at her and since she wasn't a big woman, I could not imagine why she would have a problem getting into her car. "Oh, you're so little, you should not have a problem," I told her--thinking it was a nice compliment. Even though I thought she was an ugly bitch. "It's a MERCEDES for CRYING OUT LOUD!" she once again screeched. I just stood there in shock. You talking to me..bitchface? "I can pull out so you can get in," I offered. She scowled at me...."No thank you!" she fumed. And, with that, she headed towards her car ranting "I can't believe this! Why in the hell would she park next to me like that?" So, I stood there....watching her. She easily slid into her car. Easily! I waited for her to pull away in her black Mercedes. BITCH! I hissed as she drove out of the lot and into suburbia....hating me for parking next to her Mercedes! And with that....she managed to put a huge dent in my day.

Situation #2--
We have had our ups and downs at the office. Some days it's more downs than ups. And, with that, some good folks get caught in the crossfire. Other folks manage to use those difficult times to practice bad behavior and make it even worse. While others feel hopeless and possibly helpless. As you can imagine, amid all the negativity and darkness, it becomes tough to see the light let alone a way out of the chaos. So, it's pretty easy to get swept up in the downhill spiral and emotional upheaval that becomes our days. Feelings get hurt, morale gets squelched and comraderie takes a nose dive. Not pretty. Sadly, at the center of one of the recent firestorms happened to be one of the brightest, most talented and invaluable staff members I've ever worked with. It was an unfortunate situation that turned difficult and unsettling for her. Shameful. But, what did she do about it? She went home, took a bath and found a way to understand it, make it better and improve things along the way. When she came in to tell me about it, she was positive and energized and encouraging. Not at all like a girl who had just had one of the most unnerving weeks of her professional life!

Yes, I know, those stories seemingly have nothing in common. However, both of them have stayed with me well beyond their moments. Mercedes bitch woman turned an otherwise normal morning commute into a tough one for me. And, my coworker turned what could have been another day of lamenting over the trials of the week into a hopeful and relieved one! Although I have no clue what misery Mercedes bitch woman was dealing with, I hardly imagine that it warranted ruining a stranger's day. Who does she think she is anyway? And, since I do know what misery my coworker had to deal with, if she would have came into my office and banged my door and screamed, I would have understood it. But she didn't.

We're all given the chance each and every day...each and every minute of every day....to impact someone else's life. How we choose to use that time...especially during tough times....tells a lot about who we are....a class act or a trash act.
Sure, Mercedes bitch might have been wearing her Prada sneakers while she tore down my day and made me feel insignificant and disrespected. And, my coworker may have been wearing a darling pair of boots from Target when she helped me see the light. But, in this case--the price of shoes have no bearing on the worth of the souls wearing them. And, you can take that to the bank. (it's probably the only thing you'll be taking there!)

TGIF....

Oh, by the way....I'll be out there looking for Mercedes Bitch Woman all weekend.....

It's Thursday and I got nothing......

Oh sure, there's lots going on. But, do you want to hear about it? I doubt it.
You see, that's the thing.....life is alot about stuff. Not everything is blog worthy. So, I'm not going to say one thing today. Instead, I'm going to give you some eye candy and share with you glimpses into being 17!







Like I said....I got nothing......yet, I got it all....

Battle of the Band!

Okay, okay, I know...I've been getting a little off-topic here....

It's been awhile since I've blogged specifically about my Lapband--other than to gush how much I love it. So, I thought I'd share a little bit about my Lapbanded life at this point of my journey.

Here goes....

I haven't lost 100 pounds. That's the bad news.
I haven't lost 100 pounds. That's the good news.
I've often thought that I only know how to do 2 things when it comes to weight--gain it and lose it. I don't know how to maintain it. Right now, I'm doing something wierdly in the middle....I'm not really gaining, I'm sorta losing but I'm mostly maintaining...going up and down a few pounds...evening it all out. Is that okay?
Well, it's not horrific. I'll say that much. Plus, it allows me to keep on journeying to lose 100 pounds....giving me a little more time to learn how to be 100 lbs lighter forever. With all that being said, I still really do want to lose 100 pounds. And, I really do want to fit into a Size 10. I just do.

Fills are fickle.
So, in February, I had a fill with a new tech--she was being trained. As with all fills, I spent the next 48 hours consuming mushy foods--as not to irritate my newly filled band. But, I noticed that I was able to consume scads of whatever it was that I was eating. So, I gave it a few days. As it turned out--I could eat anything and everything and lots of it. A call into the doctor was in order. Hearing my plight, they got me in to see the tech quickly. She was quite confused. Until she checked my band--it appears that I only had a slight fill. She had no idea how that happened but it did. And this was supposed to be a very tight band! So, she filled me back up to where I was supposed to be and sent me on my way. I reverted to the mushy foods again. No problem there. When I switched over to regular foods, I was able to eat a modest amount--although a bit more than I was able to eat in January. So, I gave it a few days. Still able to eat more than I should have, I decided to check in with the doctor's office just to be sure. Could I have a leak? Yikes! However, before I got a chance to go--my fill kicked in. Now, I'm really tight! I've had a few lapband episodes these past few days--one of them out of the blue while talking to a coworker...yeah, that was ugly. But, she was a good sport. So, why is it that my band is tighter than it was immediately after the fill? The mystery of the band.

My band is old news
Until quite recently, my Lapband was the focal point of a great deal of my thoughts, my energy and my blog . It's now taken a backseat to my arrival at 50. Which, when I think about it, says quite a bit. My Lapband has allowed me to arrive at 50 embracing it and focusing on it--instead of dealing with being a fat 50. It's allowed me to live 50 and not just survive it. It's a big thing.

I'm now a high maintenance diva.
....well, not really....it just sounds and feels kinda fun to say that!
I do feel more cared for. By me. I definitely pay much more attention to everything about myself--from my head down to my toes. It's not that I didn't care before. It's just that it wasn't as much fun to care. Now, the shopping is fun. It's not about buying the same pair of black pants in a bigger size every month! It's about needing new undies and going to Victoria Secret to buy them and squealing with delight over the styles and the colors! And, the results of my labors are more evident. For instance--when I got my teeth whitened--I could focus on that result and not the fact that my stomach was so big that it was all I could see when I looked in the mirror! Plus, now I'm all about caring what I eat and making sure it's amazing! No more pit stops at Wendy's or MacDonald's! I don't want to settle for lousy, just okay food. If I'm going to go out to eat--I deserve to eat at great places. I want the best possible tasting food and/or the best ambiance (and great company!). So, yeah....I'm wearing great undies, going to top-notch restaurants. Where's the paparazzi? Next I guess I'll be expecting a red carpet....huh?

My complex thinking skills are improving!
It's all about protein, protein, protein! At the end of the day--did I consume enough protein to make my body work as efficiently and optimally as possible as well as insure that I do not lose one strand of hair? How can I make sure that I get in my protein that without sacrificing one iota of taste and not packing on any pounds? Those questions force me into thinking more strategically when it comes to meals and they challenge my mathematical skills quite strenuously. Mental exercise at it's best!

Life is still life.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, my Lapband did not solve every problem, it does not stop new problems from arising and it certainly didn't banish all those things that get in the way of living a peaceful, serene and simple life! What it did do is help me not to have to face life as a fat girl. Which is quite different. I have more confidence...which is a huge bonus. So, when I am confronted by someone who is treating me inappropriately or unkind, I'm not standing there thinking that my weight or my appearance has anything to do with it. I guess you can say that I've taken off my fat girl glasses! I'm now looking at them thinking "this person is a real asshole/bitch/bastard "...(deservedly so).
My Lapband has not given me more hours in the day nor has it taken away the demands on my time. It's given me a bit more energy and desire to get things done--which is always good. And, it may have extended my life expectancy more so that I have more time in general. But, my days are still 24 hours and my to-do lists still exceed the time I have to accomplish them. My bedroom is still messy, my closets still need overhauled and my job is a pain in the ass. And, like everyone else--I have my days--when I'm either cranky, a little sad, in a panic,pissed off, riddled with guilt or feeling fearful. It's just life. I get it....

That's how it is folks. I'm doing what I do. Living my life. Having good things happen along the way. Having bad things happen along the way. Kicking up my heels every so often. Trying to get enough sleep. Learning new things. And, new lessons. Slaying dragons and mean folks. Loving and laughing. Coming and going. Singing and crying. Talking and listening. Living life in Judiland with a swell group of folks. And, I have a Lapband.

YOU make Rockin' Fun!

...A night with Fleetwood Mac at the Mellon Arena....

That's Professor H and me doing some preconcert anticipatory hanging out....



We Sisters.....doing some preconcert preconcerting.....


We rocked it out....
And, I'm still recuperating!

Living gratefully......

...on a Monday no less!....

Yes, I know I've been spending a great deal of bandwith talking about strapping on attitude and strutting my stuff and taking a few walks on the wild side. Trust me, I haven't abandoned that thinking and I'm still in training in that regard.
I'm learning, I'm learning. That's what being 50 is all about...learning how to do it well. With attitude.
And, there's a little morsel of attitude I can't forget.....

Living gratefully.... starting. right. about. now.....



Here's to another week....one step closer to Spring!

Why limit my madness to March?

Morning has broken here in my little suburban hamlet. It's a new month....one that promises better weather and a big green party. From where I am sitting....it's still cold and dreary. But, I'm a patient girl. I'll give it a little while to improve. In the meantime, I'll have a smoke and then go to church.
Oh yes, I'm always in between misbehavior and prayer.....